Albert Camus wrote, "At any street corner the feeling of absurdity can strike any man in the face."
I've chosen to kick start my first 2012 blog post with this statement because of the poignant feeling that overwhelmed me yesterday in a taxi. I sat in traffic, watching life in Tambacounda revolve around me. It was an ordinary day, but I felt something. I felt kind of absurd.
I'd just arrived back in Tamba after a month long vacation. Three weeks were spent in the States where the streets are paved with gold (or so I've heard) and one week was spent in Dakar with fellow volunteers attending a motivation conference. All four caused me to remember vividly why I'm in the Peace Corps and what I came to Senegal to do. Or try to do. Or not do at all, as fortunes would have it.
I'm straddling two imbalanced and imperfect worlds, with one foot firmly in my American heritage and another teetering on the African landscape. I have two names, I have two personalities, I sometimes have two opinions. By returning home in the middle of my service, even for a fleeting three weeks, I was hit in the face by the absurdity of our world at large and of my situation. This feeling magnified as I returned to find my Master Farmer project entirely burnt to the ground. Goodbye, months of labor. As the Senegalese say, God is Great. Alhalmdoulilaye.
As a result a feeling of hopelessness descended on me this past week, towards my projects and certain behavioral changes I'd like to initiate. I'd been back to the other side and remembered how far behind Senegal is. I'd seen months of hard work obliterated in a day. I'd been discouraged by how effortlessly I fell back into my lavish American lifestyle. I thought, is this really how it's going to be? I'm going to try, and try, and fail, and go home. As if it never happened.
And then (I bet you're relieved) I promptly kicked that mindset to the curb. The Senegalese are big fans of living in the moment and not worrying about the future. In terms of work, that can be ridiculously frustrating. In terms of stress, it's a fantastic credo. Day by day, my friends.
The important thing to remember is, my projects are not all burnt to the ground. One out of three, still coming out on top - right? Now that I've said that, the school garden will be descended upon by locusts, or something. I'll keep you posted.
Check out my new post below on the December Eye Clinic, if you're interested. Pretty eye-opening experience! (Ha ha...ha)
Until next time,
<3 Phoebe
I've chosen to kick start my first 2012 blog post with this statement because of the poignant feeling that overwhelmed me yesterday in a taxi. I sat in traffic, watching life in Tambacounda revolve around me. It was an ordinary day, but I felt something. I felt kind of absurd.
I'd just arrived back in Tamba after a month long vacation. Three weeks were spent in the States where the streets are paved with gold (or so I've heard) and one week was spent in Dakar with fellow volunteers attending a motivation conference. All four caused me to remember vividly why I'm in the Peace Corps and what I came to Senegal to do. Or try to do. Or not do at all, as fortunes would have it.
I'm straddling two imbalanced and imperfect worlds, with one foot firmly in my American heritage and another teetering on the African landscape. I have two names, I have two personalities, I sometimes have two opinions. By returning home in the middle of my service, even for a fleeting three weeks, I was hit in the face by the absurdity of our world at large and of my situation. This feeling magnified as I returned to find my Master Farmer project entirely burnt to the ground. Goodbye, months of labor. As the Senegalese say, God is Great. Alhalmdoulilaye.
As a result a feeling of hopelessness descended on me this past week, towards my projects and certain behavioral changes I'd like to initiate. I'd been back to the other side and remembered how far behind Senegal is. I'd seen months of hard work obliterated in a day. I'd been discouraged by how effortlessly I fell back into my lavish American lifestyle. I thought, is this really how it's going to be? I'm going to try, and try, and fail, and go home. As if it never happened.
And then (I bet you're relieved) I promptly kicked that mindset to the curb. The Senegalese are big fans of living in the moment and not worrying about the future. In terms of work, that can be ridiculously frustrating. In terms of stress, it's a fantastic credo. Day by day, my friends.
The important thing to remember is, my projects are not all burnt to the ground. One out of three, still coming out on top - right? Now that I've said that, the school garden will be descended upon by locusts, or something. I'll keep you posted.
Check out my new post below on the December Eye Clinic, if you're interested. Pretty eye-opening experience! (Ha ha...ha)
Until next time,
<3 Phoebe
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